Food Struggle Every Hosteler Goes Through

Ghalib had rightly said, “Yeh hostel food nahi aasaan, bas itna samajh lijye/ ek aag ka darya hai, aur doob ke jana hai!” Now that’s a literal #burn.

First comes the horrible food and a discussion about the same with your mother follows shortly. This is the routine of most of the hostelers in the first semester and then you just get used to it. You gel in so well that you tend to forget about the meal you had while eating it itself.

For starters (not that your hostel serves that! #BURRRN), the timings are never good enough. Either it is too early or simply so late that you are famished by the time the food arrives and you gulp it down numbly.


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Pani mein kuch daal hai:

Remember ACP Pradyuman’s dialogue from CID, “Daal mein kuch kala hai” (imagine him saying this with his patent hand gesture). And then someone would chip in, “Puri daal hi kaali hai, Sir!” Well, that wouldn’t be so wrong to say about the daal served in hostels. The only difference is that the daal is 70% water, instead of it being black.


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Roti vs. Chawal and karela:

And how can you forget the omnipresent roti vs. chawal debate?! Why can’t they simply serve both always and solve the problem? And even if they serve both, they put a check on the quantity. That definitely deserves, “Haye mera baccha!” from the mothers.


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But you know what’s worse than that? Karela ki sabji. Bitter gourd. It has bitter in its name. Why do they tend to forget this and cook it every week!

Taste kaha hai?!

This should be every hostel’s tagline. But one thing that the Everest Chaat masala people did not comprehend was that the Chaat masala also cannot bring taste to hostel food. It is so bad that even the food has given up on itself and as soon as you go near it, it will be like, “Na beta na! Chhorde ise, bahar wale bhaiya se omelette kha le aaj bhi.”


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Paneer sings kho gae hum kaha:

In the pool of water pretending to be gravy, the screams of paneer still echo. People say that they were not able to find it. It was lost forever.

Are egg dishes really non-veg?

You simply cannot serve egg curry on a chicken day and say that it’s non-veg as well. It’s a sin to even say something like that. It’s as confusing as the chicken-egg spiral of origin.

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Let’s assume that you get over all of this. Let’s just assume for a moment. But what can be done about the difference in food culture?! A Delhiite will always miss the mouth-watering momos and shawarmas (full of mayo, mind you) in rest of the country. A Bihari won’t ever find the same good old litti-chokha anywhere else. A Bangalorean will always get annoyed when bisi bele bath will be called khichdi. And it’s veg pulao/ fried rice for heaven’s sake and not veg biryani! Chetan Bhagat should have written about this kind of 2 states. It would at least have taste as one of its contents that way and some good quality spice. At least literally. It’s true that food helps us survive but sometimes we survive for food. Especially when just a few weeks are left for the end semester holidays and you cannot wait to get back home, to your family, and more importantly to the warmth and smell of good home food. Cheers to good food!

Feature image source: 1 & 2